There are days where deep, creative thoughts come and pile in my head. Other days things are stagnant as socks in a abandoned toilet bowl. The strangest things seem to set it off in different locations. The other day someone was walking by the curb that I walked on to my class. I noticed that he walked beside it not on it. I walked foot over foot ON the curb down the hill. He walked on the dirt next to the curb. That set off a chain of ideas that distracted me all the rest of the walk, and thru class. When I finally got Lappy to write them down i had forgotten most of them. I kicked myself for thinking more than writing. Sometimes I am content just to watch the shadows of the trees dance on the sidewalk, and the birds fly. (tho both make me run and step into things)
I'm not certain if other people go thru this tangent thinking. (i have been told no, but who knows) I guess there are those who don't/can't. I know not everyone can be poets, but shouldn't people consider some bigger pictures? My uncle told me once that you can't draw a line from one point to another if you're looking at the line. Both points have to be considered to making a line.
I guess most are content with their "quite lives of desperation" and more power to them. I'll leave them to the world at large, and try to teach the next generation "to see with eyes unclouded by hate." And when my days lead me no farther than my own perspectives I'll always have the game.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
This is not Euphemism
While not everyone live lives of quiet desperation or lives of grand adventure. All living people are shaped by what we see, read, and feel. Our DNA makes us, our experience shape us. Our experiences leave marks on us in ways that change us from what we were to who we are. Our openness to change is what allows us to either grow or fester. We are who we let ourselves be. That is the line that separates nature and nurture.
As our shape changes we leave holes where we use to be. These holes are just as much a piece of us as the parts are. Those empty spaces do not like being empty and we look for something to fill them. Some people find comfort in things, or money. Most look for it in other people. Here is the kicker, if people change what happens to those who use to fit? Can the puzzles be completed if the pieces change?
If we do change as we learn, can the holes be found if we don't know our shape? Is there a time where we should stop experiencing and let things flow around? When is stability more important than flexibility? What holes need to be filled to be whole?
As our shape changes we leave holes where we use to be. These holes are just as much a piece of us as the parts are. Those empty spaces do not like being empty and we look for something to fill them. Some people find comfort in things, or money. Most look for it in other people. Here is the kicker, if people change what happens to those who use to fit? Can the puzzles be completed if the pieces change?
If we do change as we learn, can the holes be found if we don't know our shape? Is there a time where we should stop experiencing and let things flow around? When is stability more important than flexibility? What holes need to be filled to be whole?
Dreams vs Nightmares
I realized a strange thing. After the roundabout fail of doctors to figure out my headaches I stopped taking the meds. On the meds, sleep wasn't restful, and writing was so hard and came out all wrong. Off the meds (with a change in lifestyle and eating habits) I could write again and oh the dreams! They came back along with real sleep. I had to sleep more, and sometimes (if not careful) there were overlaps.
Anywho thats not the point of this...
Since then I've had only one nightmare. Granted it was enough to keep me awake for three days. (and I'm not going to post it here cause it still scares me) With the dream improvement the good got better and the bad got worse. Some kind of mental scale that balances what comes out of my head or just chance? Are the vivid dreams of running as a wolf, or flying on red wings worth the fear of your worst nightmares brought to the front of your mind?
I think yes. Tho I don't think I would have choose this if given the choice but I'll learn from it what I can. Some of the stories posted here are from dreams, some are from my waking mind. Please enjoy as I sift thru my brain.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Dogs and TREES
Today I visited the Toledo Dog Shelter and the Humane Society with my sister and her husband. So many dogs that live in little cubes surrounded by loud noised and smells. Was sad. We tried out 4 different dogs. Sadie won us over. (Short for sedated or sedatives cause she is very low key) She's called a Saint Bernard, but paw size begs to differ. If she gets along with Paige and Cody she'll be coming home with us on Tuesday. Great Success.
...not sure why we're getting another dog but I like animals...^.^
Here's another story! about trees...
The seeds were planted. The shells tucked into the ground, waiting for the power to grow.
Water! Sweet release! Shells cracked and roots pushed down. Growing up and down, they sprung from the ground that supported them. The first feel of the sun intoxicated them. They reached towards the warm light. At night they dreamed of the sun, and hated that their roots kept them from following the light.
As the sun came and went the seeds grew. They became the beginning of trees, bushes, and grass. They witnessed the world while they reached for the sun. They observed moving things of all shapes of sizes but they all paled in comparison to the sun.
The grass thought that if all of them grew straight up they would reach the sun. More often than not they were blown around or eaten by the animals. They were so sure that they were right they all agreed that they would continue, no matter what. The trees watched.
The bushes noted the grass' futile attempts and took a different approach to reaching the sun. They grew many different shoots and interlocked them. They wouldn't be at the mercy of the wind and animal, like the grass.
The grass scoffed.
The trees watched.
The bushes did grow taller than the grass, but they also grew hollow. As the inner branches were cut off from the sun they withered and grew brittle.
The trees watched.
The trees called a council. After much argument they decided that each individual would choose their own way of growing. Some tried growing in parts, others with solid bases. Time passed and the council was called again to share what they learned. The most successful cases were the pine and the willow. The pine grew in layers, the bottom ones growing bigger to make room for the new ones. The willow grew a solid base that held up under all different conditions. An argument started between the two on who's idea would be accepted in an attempt to reach the sun.
The argument turned into a race to see who would reach the sun first. During the argument they stretched to the sun. It wasn't until the willow, making a point about the importance of roots, turned its attention to the ground. In their attempts to reach the sun they blocked the light from the others. All the water was gone and the dirt was sucked dry of all nutrients.
The willow was horrified of what it had been apart of. Distraught by what they had done the trees stopped their attempts to reach the sun. Some trees fell , to return what they stole. The willow tried, but it was too well grown, and the roots set too deep. It weeped.
The pine raged. It wouldn't stop, it would reach the sun! The ground was the past. There was no point going back. The weeping willow implored the pine to stop. After all, what good would it do to reach the sun if they killed everything in the process?
The pine wondered what good weeping did when the action was already done.
...not sure why we're getting another dog but I like animals...^.^
Here's another story! about trees...
The seeds were planted. The shells tucked into the ground, waiting for the power to grow.
Water! Sweet release! Shells cracked and roots pushed down. Growing up and down, they sprung from the ground that supported them. The first feel of the sun intoxicated them. They reached towards the warm light. At night they dreamed of the sun, and hated that their roots kept them from following the light.
As the sun came and went the seeds grew. They became the beginning of trees, bushes, and grass. They witnessed the world while they reached for the sun. They observed moving things of all shapes of sizes but they all paled in comparison to the sun.
The grass thought that if all of them grew straight up they would reach the sun. More often than not they were blown around or eaten by the animals. They were so sure that they were right they all agreed that they would continue, no matter what. The trees watched.
The bushes noted the grass' futile attempts and took a different approach to reaching the sun. They grew many different shoots and interlocked them. They wouldn't be at the mercy of the wind and animal, like the grass.
The grass scoffed.
The trees watched.
The bushes did grow taller than the grass, but they also grew hollow. As the inner branches were cut off from the sun they withered and grew brittle.
The trees watched.
The trees called a council. After much argument they decided that each individual would choose their own way of growing. Some tried growing in parts, others with solid bases. Time passed and the council was called again to share what they learned. The most successful cases were the pine and the willow. The pine grew in layers, the bottom ones growing bigger to make room for the new ones. The willow grew a solid base that held up under all different conditions. An argument started between the two on who's idea would be accepted in an attempt to reach the sun.
The argument turned into a race to see who would reach the sun first. During the argument they stretched to the sun. It wasn't until the willow, making a point about the importance of roots, turned its attention to the ground. In their attempts to reach the sun they blocked the light from the others. All the water was gone and the dirt was sucked dry of all nutrients.
The willow was horrified of what it had been apart of. Distraught by what they had done the trees stopped their attempts to reach the sun. Some trees fell , to return what they stole. The willow tried, but it was too well grown, and the roots set too deep. It weeped.
The pine raged. It wouldn't stop, it would reach the sun! The ground was the past. There was no point going back. The weeping willow implored the pine to stop. After all, what good would it do to reach the sun if they killed everything in the process?
The pine wondered what good weeping did when the action was already done.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
A Pearl Among Us
Today I went over to Granny's house to "do laundry." I use this excuse visit and check on Granny without making her suspicious about my true motives. The fact that I can get all my laundry done in 3-4 hours is just a bonus. The majority of the time we're talking about family, school, and life in general. (Granny sometimes pauses to yell as Papaw too but thats another post entirely.) It is the kind of give and take conversation I can have with friends. She's not too judging and attempts to see things from a different PoV. Even if the information I share is against what she thinks or something she doesn't understand. One might never expect this from a southern baptist woman, but what can I say...Granny is awesome!
I got a insight today that I haven't seen since I was little. Those of you reading that don't know how my Dad's side of the family works here's the deal. There is an appearance of one leading and the other following, but it is the strength of the "Wagoner" comes out in both the sexes. Even if their name was changed they have their mother's strength. Today this strength of will poped its head out during a conversation about past, present, and future family drama. (Family is most important in her PoV) Not going to go into details, but she let it be known to me that future shenanigans were not going to be tolerated anymore, and that the wrath of a woman protecting her family would be known.
All I can say is when I was younger I feared her more than anyone else. It wasn't a bed wetting fear of the wooden spoon, more of a fear of how I would disapoint this women who gave up so much to do the right thing.Seeing her with the old fire that she had cooled for the sake of her children and grandchildren took me back and re-inspired me.
It saddens me that this generation will not be around much longer and we'll lose what they could have taught us. I have,in part, this woman to thank for the family I have. The good and the annoying. (You know who you are)
I got a insight today that I haven't seen since I was little. Those of you reading that don't know how my Dad's side of the family works here's the deal. There is an appearance of one leading and the other following, but it is the strength of the "Wagoner" comes out in both the sexes. Even if their name was changed they have their mother's strength. Today this strength of will poped its head out during a conversation about past, present, and future family drama. (Family is most important in her PoV) Not going to go into details, but she let it be known to me that future shenanigans were not going to be tolerated anymore, and that the wrath of a woman protecting her family would be known.
All I can say is when I was younger I feared her more than anyone else. It wasn't a bed wetting fear of the wooden spoon, more of a fear of how I would disapoint this women who gave up so much to do the right thing.Seeing her with the old fire that she had cooled for the sake of her children and grandchildren took me back and re-inspired me.
It saddens me that this generation will not be around much longer and we'll lose what they could have taught us. I have,in part, this woman to thank for the family I have. The good and the annoying. (You know who you are)
Friday, October 1, 2010
Asshats and Laugh Tracks
Last night while, waiting to watch Bones, Beth was watching Big Bang Theory. Now don't get me wrong, Big Bang is a cool show but the jokes are followed by a laugh track. Being told when to laugh is kind of a turn off to a show. Shows like House and Bones where the jokes are just as geeky...you just have to hear them for yourself. Instead of giggling along to the laughter of the dead. I almost ROFL'ed when within the highly educated, people of gargantuan vocabularies asshat gets dropped. Long set up, but funnier in my opinion.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)